Who is Hu?

This is how Amurica is making foreign policy.

George Bush: „Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?“

Condoleezza Rice: „Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.“

Bush: „Great. Lay it on me.“

Rice: „Hu is the new leader of China.“

Bush: „That’s what I want to know.“

Rice: „That’s what I’m telling you.“

Bush: „That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?“

Rice: „Yes.“

Bush: „I mean the fellow’s name.“

Rice: „Hu.“

Bush: „The guy in China.“

Rice: „Hu.“

Bush: „The new leader of China.“

Rice: „Hu.“

Bush: „The Chinaman!“

Rice: „Hu is leading China.“

Bush: „Now whaddya‘ asking me for?“

Rice: „I’m telling you Hu is leading China.“

Bush: „Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?“

Rice: „That’s the man’s name.“

Bush: „That’s who’s name?“

Rice: „Yes.“

Bush: „Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?“

Rice: „Yes, Sir.“

Bush: „Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle East.“

Rice: „That’s correct.“

Bush: „Then who is in China?“

Rice: „Yes, Sir.“

Bush: „Yassir is in China?“

Rice: „No, Sir.“

Bush: „Then who is?“

Rice: „Yes, Sir.“

Bush: „Yassir?“

Rice: „No, Sir.“

Bush: „Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.“

Rice: „Kofi?“

Bush: „No, thanks.“

Rice: „You want Kofi?“

Bush: „No.“

Rice: „You don’t want Kofi.“

Bush: „No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.“

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice sits behind President George W. Bush during a NATO Summit at the NATO headquarters in Brussels, Tuesday Feb. 22, 2005. White House photo by Eric Draper

Rice: „Yes, Sir.“

Bush: „Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.“

Rice: „Kofi?“

Bush: „Milk! Will you please make the call?“

Rice: „And call who?“

Bush: „Who is the guy at the U.N?“

Rice: „Hu is the guy in China.“

Bush: „Will you stay out of China!“

Rice: „Yes, Sir.“

Bush: „And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.“

Rice: „Kofi.“

Bush: „All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.“

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Rice: „Rice, here.“

Bush: „Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China. And the Middle East.“

Der satirisches Dialog um Missverständnisse, mangelnde Kenntnisse über die internationale Politik und oder andere Sachverhalte ist komplett erfunden. Wirkt aber dadurch, dass es auch wahr sein könnte. Und der Mann hat das größte Atomwaffenarsenal unter seinem Daumen, wenn ihm Cheney den Koffer nicht weggenommen hat.